Do Fathers Get A Bad Deal In Family Court?

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By Jan Grossman, Esq.

WE CARE LEGAL SERVICES – 1-855-LAW-FAMILY – has been litigating Bucks County Family Court for over 25 years. After all that experience, I can assure the fathers in our community that “the courts” are not biased “against men.” Bucks County Family Court judges, without exception, are “pro-child,” not “pro-mother.”

But why does it seem that men always get the short end of the stick in Family Court?

The reason is amazingly simple. When a couple breaks up, it is typically the man who moves out, leaving the woman with the kids. The simple act of moving and leaving the kids behind often places a father at a lifetime custody and child support disadvantage. Once the woman becomes the de facto primary parent, the children become used to this situation. The woman then controls the custody and visitation. The woman becomes “entitled” to support.” Fathers can get understandably frustrated with this situation, act impulsively, resist paying support, and dig themselves a hole in Family Court they never seem to get out of.

Learn this simple truth: THE COURTS ARE NOT “PRO MOTHER,” BUT THE COURTS CAN BE “PRO STATUS QUO.”

The solution is simple: NEVER LEAVE YOUR KIDS UNTIL THE COURT ISSUES A CUSTODY ORDER. Before any physical separation, as a father you have as much right to the custody of your children as the mother and, all things being equal, Bucks County Family Court will enforce your custodial rights by giving you 50%- 50% physical custody. But, if you leave your children and move out, you can be dooming yourself to a lifetime of financial servitude and weekend fatherhood.

So, what are some of the reasons that fathers leave their children behind with the mother and move out?

• MOVE IN WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND. It seems like a good idea. You think you’re in love. But that premature move can cost you a hundreds of thousands of dollars in child support and your role as primary parent.
• SHE ORDERED ME TO MOVE OUT – She can’t “order” you to do anything. If your name is on the deed, the lease, or even if you’ve been residing at her place with your kids, unless you are legally evicted, you can peacefully stay until a Court decides custody.
• “I CAN’T STAND LIVING WITH THE *%^*$#% ANY MORE! SHE’S DRIVING ME CRAZY. It can be very uncomfortable, but in Bucks County, you can get a first proceeding in child custody in 4 to 6 weeks. You may then be able to move out with a custody order, preserving your Father’s rights.
• “SHE THREATENING TO CALL THE POLICE ON ME.” “SHE’S THREATENING TO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER,” SHE’S THREATENING TO INJURE HERSELF AND HAVE ME ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT.” Unfortunately, this situation is more common than you may think. Again, do not leave your children until a Court decides custody. Speak with your local police department and advise them of the situation, have a friend or relative move in as a witness, stop sleeping in the same room, and, under the circumstances, file for “emergency” relief from Family Court to accelerate the hearing process.

Remember, Fathers, Pennsylvania law allows child custody to be determined BEFORE separation. Take advantage of the law for your children’s benefit. Don’t complain afterwards that the Courts are anti-men. Please feel free to consult with us at WE CARE LEGAL SERVICES, 1-855-LAW-FAMILY, before making any move that will affect your children. If you already have moved out, all is not lost. We have lots of experience in creating a more positive custody and support situation.