WE CARE LEGAL SERVICES
(1-855-LAW-FAMILY)
Available 24/7 for Divorce, Child Custody, Support, Protection From Abuse, and Adoption Assistance.
www.WeCareLegalPa.com.
Always a free consultation.
By Jan Grossman, Esq.
We know you’re angry. We know how absolutely infuriated you feel. She has your kids, and she won’t let you visit or FaceTime. She won’t take your calls. “Not until you give me my money,” she says. You’ve now spent the last 10 minutes (actually, it’s only been 30 seconds, but it sure feels like 10 minutes) thinking of and typing out all of the worst things you can think of regarding the mother of your children. You typed the “B” word, the “S” word, the “F’ word, and another “S” word. That text is ready to go.
Don’t push send!
We know you want to. You know you want to. You’ve been itching to hit that send button, as if it’s the last thing you’ll ever do.
Seriously, doesn’t push “send.” A few months from now, a custody court judge is going to be reading that very text in open court. After reading the second “S” word, this judge will glare at you, while your attempt to portray yourself in court as the only sane, rational parent, disintegrates before your eyes and your ex perfectly plays the victim, sobbing softly at her counsel table.
Your ability to communicate with other parent of your children is just one of 16 factors that goes into a custody decision in Pennsylvania courts. Specifically, the law states that in deciding custody, Courts should look at: “The level of conflict between the parties and the willingness and ability of the parties to cooperate with one another. . . .”
Guess how much more “conflict” is going to occur once you push send? Be the rational parent. Be the parent who is least likely to completely explode in an argument (which, let’s face it, probably isn’t even about your kids anyway). When your ex starts pushing your buttons, civilly stick to the child-centered point.
Text Example From You: Can I FaceTime with the kids now?
Ex: “Oh, you mean NOW you’re ready to talk? Where were you when they were growing up? So you just think I should drop everything so you can talk to the kids whenever you want? Where’s my child support? Your children are going without new school clothes. When are you going to ask me when it’s convenient for ME to call YOU?”
We have provided you with two possible responses to this text, so let’s see if you can pick the right one:
Option A: “Whenever you are free to FaceTime, please let me know. I would like to talk to the kids tonight before they are in bed, at a time that works for them and you.”
–OR—
Option B: “Listen you f**king psycho, all I did was ask to talk to the kids. How about I give you your money when you stop using it to buy the cheap vodka that you drink with your pervy boyfriend?”
The correct answer was Option A. And how very mature of you! Now your lawyer won’t have to explain to the Judge why you verbally abused the mother of your children, and you don’t have to cross your fingers that a judge doesn’t stick all the blame on you for the co-parenting breakdown. What’s more, the only issue the court then has to address is why mother deprived you, the calm, rational father, of talking to your kids.
Being the bigger person and minding your manners isn’t easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest possible things to do.
At WE CARE LEGAL SERVICES, we help you understand why taking the high road isn’t just in your children’s best interest, but in yours as well. Legally speaking, it’s the right move. But emotionally speaking, it’s the best move for your kids. It’s time to move onto bigger and better things with your new found life, and we want to see you flourish. So many of us have suffered this fight ourselves, and we know exactly what it takes to get through it. Let us be your legal support system. We get it. We Care.
WE CARE LEGAL SERVICES, 1-855-LAW-LAW-FAMILY. Available 24/7, always a free consultation.
