WE CARE LEGAL SERVICES
(1-855-LAW-FAMILY)
Available 24/7 for Divorce, Child Custody, Support, Protection From Abuse, and Adoption Assistance.
www.WeCareLegalPa.com.
Always a free consultation.
By Jan Grossman, Esq.
1. Always place the child’s needs and feelings first.
2. Never take the name of the other parent in vain. It is toxic for a child to hear that their Mom is a &%^$^# or their Dad is a *%^&$#@. Remember, Children identify (for good or bad) with their image of each parent.
3. Respect the other parents custodial time as if it was holy. Children who have been through a parental separation deeply need to spend quality time with each parent, develop traditions with each parent, and feel loved by each parent.
4. Respect and obey the custody schedule, whether court-ordered or informal. Children who have survived a parental break-up, cling to the structure of a predictable visitation pattern. It stabilizes them and gives them great comfort.
5. Honor the other parent in the eyes of the child. No matter what went down between you and your co-parent; no matter how justifiably hurt or angry you feel, your child needs to create his or her own image and understanding of the other parent without filtering the world through your relational baggage.
6. Honor the extended family of the other parent in the eyes of the child. It is an important part of a child’s development to love and be loved by all grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. A positive “Family Identity,” for each side of a Child’s unique heritage, both enhances and helps define a child’s identity.
7. Never gossip about the other parent or burden your child by discussing your legal and emotional problems about your co-parent. Your child is not your “friend,” confidant,” “therapist,””bartender,” or “Hairdresser.”They shouldn’t have to view the other parent through your angry eyes. A child of separation has enough to deal with just being a child, going through developmental stages, and addressing their own special life challenges.
8. Always remember a Child is not a “miniature adult.” A Child’s view of the world, thinking, decision-making emotions, and behaviors are governed by their age and maturity. A Child should be fully protected from adult conflict not placed in a position where they have to join in the battle or be a casualty of war.
9. Never, ever discuss Child support with a child. Children do not need to believe that their “father is a deadbeat” or their mother “spent all of her support money on her boyfriend.” See Commandments 7 and 8.
10. Whenever possible, spend positive joint-parenting time with your child. Whether it’s having a once a month “family dinner,” sitting together at the Child’s public events, chatting about the child’s life and accomplishments at custodial exchanges, or even spending holiday time together, a Child will feel whole and unconditionally loved. A happy, unconflicted experience with both parents is worth much more than fifty Child psychotherapy sessions to heal a child after parental separation.
If you or a loved one is in a custody situation in which both parents are following the 10 Child Custody Commandments, please do not disturb the child’s peace by engaging in needless custody litigation. But, if your children are suffering because one parent is putting their own needs before the child, please call us 24/7 at 1-855-LAW-FAMILY for a free consultation. We have 30 years of experience and we will always protect your children as if they were our own
WE CARE LEGAL SERVICES (1-855-LAW-FAMILY) Available 24/7 for Divorce, Child Custody, Support, Protection From Abuse, and Adoption Assistance. www.WeCareLegalPa.com. Always a free consultation.
